The Testimony of Ron Browning Continues…

 October 2009

How do I begin a second article of the wonderful things God continues to do in my life?  What about all the wonderful ways in which He chooses to use me; yes, even beyond my disabilities and losses?

This address must begin with the most wonderful gifts God has given me recently; then I will walk backwards in time and bring us all back to the very day I am writing. 

On January 17^th of this year 2009, my loving and gracious Father God privileged me to wed a beautiful, compassionate, and godly woman.  My wife’s name is Susan Hope Day Browning; Hope is her given name.  As the Scriptures promise “hope never disappoints” it is true that my sweet wife does not disappoint!  Hope’s name in Scripture is set in confidence and steadfastness; not as the world would define some wish or dream – “I hope for”.  Hope is by far the most exquisite gem, the dream of a lifetime, and a confident, trustworthy, God-fearing, gifted, and loving woman.  I thank my Abba Father for giving me such a beautiful and fantastic gift to love as Jesus loves us!

If you can’t tell, Hope and I are newly-weds!  We have been married into God’s covenant for almost a year now; yet we feel as though we have been husband and wife our whole lives. 

Hope has embraced the ministries of NewHeart Expressions with the desire to see what God will do with us in the lives of others. 

As a Registered Nurse and Southern Baptist preacher, Hope and I would like to see the Lord use us in the ministries of discipleship and community care.  We can’t wait to see what God will do…

Our local church fellowship is moving from mission status to Church status in the Southern Baptist Convention.  We are excited to see NewHeart Expressions come under the direction of a local church, as I serve as Eagle Rock Church’s associate pastor.  We are excited to see how the Lord will use Hope and I together, uniting our skills, talents, and gifts in His work.   

Now many of you, who have followed the ministries and lives of NewHeart Expressions, during the last 10 years, may be wondering about some apparent changes.  So let me begin in 2005 and work backwards and then forwards from there.   

The Accident of 05.05.05 at 5am

On May 5^th, 2005 my family and I suffered a tragic automobile accident where the eight of us were all injured at some level of trauma.  My wife at that time was Ginger, who was, by far, injured the worst.  In her injures she was paralyzed from the waist down and is confined most of the time to a wheelchair.  Ginger suffered extensive nerve damage and many broken and fractured bones.  Her pain varies from day to day and I would ask you to remember her in your prayers as she struggles through each day, while raising our children. 

Ginger and our six children have purchased a home in Iowa, where she is raising our children.  Yes, Gin has custody of our children due to my own injuries in the 05.05.05 accident. 

I suffered a traumatic brain injury, with the loss of 70 pounds (which I have regained plus), 60 points of IQ and approximately 20 years of my detailed memory.  I do know some surface things that fade in and out during the last two decades but things like reading piano music and understanding accounting principles are simply gone.

The one thing God kept steady and true within my heart is – I am His child – and His Word is held strong within my damaged brain.  It seems that God has left me one thing to do; and that is to preach and teach His Word.  I can still sing and play the piano but it is mostly from chord structure and with my ears.  As time goes by, I will remember something I used to know; but the question is will I still remember it tomorrow?

In my opinion, God has simply narrowed the playing field, as to what I can and cannot do.  He has removed the plethora of things I once attempted and fixed my eyes on Jesus, the Cross, and the Truth that sets captives free.  

To those of you, who do not have knowledge of how mine and Ginger’s marriage ended, I will say the following: it would seem that the Enemy (the devil) tried to kill a voice in the darkness of sexual brokenness crying forth “freedom” is possible.  The homosexual can exchange his/her lies from the truths of God’s Word and learn to live free!  The thief and liar are able, in Jesus, to become an honest, giving truth-teller.  The sexually broken (in all its varieties) is empowered in Jesus to break chains that have held and haunted life for a new life free of all the bondage and nightmares, filled with real love, joy, and peace! . 

Freedom is available in Jesus at the foot of His Cross!  That is and has been the message of NewHeart Expressions for almost a decade.  Freedom!  Though the enemy could not kill us or His voice crying out a message of freedom, he did destroy our family.  He does come seeking to kill, steal, and destroy.  He destroyed memory, love, and restoration; and with these weapons he destroyed a family!  Ginger is a good mom; however, it is my opinion that Ginger did not hear the voice of God as she believed.  She deserted this marriage and the principles of God’s Word and took our family into a deeper devastation.  It is with sadness that I say, Ginger is no longer my wife and has not been since 09.26.06. 

These words, I have often appreciated, “Each loss is truest gain, if, day by day, He (Jesus) fills all He takes away”. 

The years since May of 2005 have held many losses.  The accident reached far beyond broken bones, cracked heads, and stretch out nerves.  This accident I believe was an attack of the Enemy.  This accident shattered the lives of 8 people that day.  May God, in all His glory restore that which He would use in His gospel ministry!  May He heal all the broken and damaged emotions… may God be glorified!!!

Severe Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) 

As stated, I have suffered a traumatic brain injury with much loss of IQ and memory – 20 years just about – with just glimpses into the fog on occasion.  The medications are few but they are for a life time unless God decides to heal me.  The Lord and I have had that discussion several times along with one other – why aren’t I in heaven instead of still on the earth?  The Lord’s answer to the first has been – “I am not done using your brain injury just yet”.  I expected Him to continue with some detail but all I got was silence.  The second question is similar and from the Word directly – the Apostle Paul writes that I am created in Christ to do good works.  I would assume that He hasn’t finished those good works in and through me just yet.  The bottom line – as it was before the accident – this is not my life to live but Jesus’ LIFE, expressing Himself in and through me. 

The Prison Years

As many of you know, I once lived as a homosexual and a thief; supporting my duo life – gay and pseudo-Christian.  My first incarceration stretch was for 18 months beginning in 1995.  My conversion to Christ came just a few months prior during a week beginning October 31, 1994.  At that time, God chased me down and captured me; and upon my response He gave me a new heart, made my spirit alive in Christ, and began to fix all the broken things in me. 

Interestingly, God did not begin by changing my gay life; He simply put me in a place He knew I would not act out same sexed – prison.  It was in my best interest to not disclose that aspect of my duo life.  The first sin and crime that the Lord began to mend and heal was the deceptions of theft, lying, and manipulation.  You see I was a con artist.  And I was good at it – for which I am not proud. 

My second incarceration was from 1998 to February 15, 2001.  This prison sentence was 3 years; making the total years I spent in jails, prisons, and satellites 4 ½ years.  My friends I should have spent somewhere between 12 and 25 years in prison; but the precious Lord Jesus had mercy on me. 

My second term of prison, paying my debt to society, for theft crimes I committed across 4 states (from 1985 to 1994) and 1 sex crime conviction in a 5^th state, was a time I call “prisonary”.  It is true prison does not leave a man unchanged; either it hardens or softens a man’s heart.  Prison is the tool God used to change my perspectives about Him, life, and sin;   John Angell James remarks, "When a (minister) has stood in the way of sinners, he should never again open his lips in the great congregation until his repentance is as notorious as his sin."  This became my motto during those last years of “prisonary” and the first few years after my miraculous release – until my repentance had become as notorious as my sins I would never speak the truths of God’s Word as pastor. 

This motto carried me through Bible School while in prison because I felt that God was calling me heavily into ministry.  A professor of mine from Mount Zion Bible wrote me many a letters; pleading with my mind to see that God had given me the heart of a pastor.  I argued for about a year.  But during that same year I began to disciple men there in prison; of which I continued in county jails during the 5 years of ministry after my release. 

In 2002 I met two men Dr. John Woodward and Dr. Charles Solomon.  These two men took me under their wings – so to speak – and trained me in Exchanged Life truth and taught me how to become a discipleship/counselor.  To so many I was a leper, stained and contagious with the awfulness of sexual brokenness and homosexuality.  Few believed that a gay man could change.  Even less believed that I should preach or be in ministry. But John believed!  He helped me incorporate a dream – NewHeart Expressions; based on Ezekiel 36:26, 27, where the Sovereign Lord promises to give a new heart, with new and right desires, so that all who would choose could walk in His ways.  The new heart expresses itself in certain paths, attitudes, and behaviors – this became the ministry of NewHeart Expressions.  A dream conceived while in prison and birthed in the offices of Grace Fellowship International. 

How merciful and amazing our Lord God is!!!

The Redesign of NewHeart Expressions         

Due to the 05.05.05 accident, it became necessary to redesign NewHeart Expressions in a more practical, useable, and productive way.  I would no longer be able to host, direct, and teach conferences and workshops any longer.  The NewHeart Expressions board of directors understood this and suggested closing.  But one member, Ezra Watnik, said, “let’s wait and see what God does with Ron”.  That waiting did allow me time to move through the needed recovery, therapies, and healing to see what God would do with me.  The redesign of NewHeart Expressions began in 2006 with a few test trials to see what I could and could not do.  That year a group of friends and I reorganized and incorporated as a non-profit, 501c3, Colorado charter and ministry.  (…the Tennessee charter closed…)  NewHeart Expressions began doing business as NewHeart Expressions Inc., NHE7 in 2007.

It was determined by doctors, therapist, and a new board of trustees that I would mainly minister using the NHE7 website; thus, the Interactive Discipleship Center (IDC) was conceived and it will birth and publish as it completes development and being written.  The IDC and the “Grace In ‘…’ Series” will be launched as interactive tools for enrolling students to journey through chronic haunting and destructive unwanted sins; such as same sexed attractions and homosexuality, lying, stealing, gossip, bitterness, or any habitual sin area. 

NHE7 is not an ex-gay ministry; it is an Exchanged Life ministry offering hope and real change to those trapped in any habitual sin.  NewHeart Expressions is my passion because I was captured by grace and set free by truth; which is what the Exchanged Life presents. 

Let me take, a somewhat personal route.  I would like to demonstrate how these truths overtime change a person.  The Scriptures claim that we are transformed by the renewing of our minds.  Let me put that into more modern way of thinking.  We are changed by reprogramming our thoughts, choices, and feelings with the truth; we learn how to exchange lie for truth.  As man exchanges God’s truth for lies; and is given over to think, choose, and feel all sorts of addictions and chronic behaviors, then it must work in reverse – man can exchange the lies drowning his life in trouble and destruction, for God’s Truth that sets men free.  If you doubt what I am saying, compare my thinking with Romans 1:18-32. 

Our culture is wrapped up in addictions, chronic behaviors, and destructive thinking.  What is the solution?  Well, let me tell you how God transformed me. 

As I mentioned earlier, I used to be gay.  When I became a Christian God did not deal with my gay life first; He began to deal with the sin of lying that infested my life.  However, He did not leave me alone to try and fix all those unwanted sexual thoughts and feelings.  I got saved October 31, 1994.  It was a 7 year journey to overcome gay thoughts and feelings.  Let me walk you down that path. 

In 1994, when I became a real Christian, God just put me in a place where I was too afraid to act out sexually.  During this time, He walked me through what the Bible says about sexual sin, while He was uprooting and killing the sin of lying.  When I walked out of the first stretch of incarceration I met a woman named Ginger, who became my wife.  We became best friends quickly; and while knowing my past, she chose to marry me anyway.  At that time, Ginger was pursuing the Lord and helped me overcome many haunting(s) from my past gay life.  God used her in mighty ways.  Yet, during my 2^nd incarceration, my ‘prisonary’ time God really got busy healing all the damaged emotions of my heart, while teaching me how to take thoughts and feelings captive to make them obedient to the Scriptures (God’s heart for me). 

It was not a picnic… it was more like a wrestling match where the bell never sounded. (I hate to watch wrestling; but it is a good example.)  I spent day after day, sometimes minute by minute, wrestling with gay thoughts and feelings.  Even when my thoughts got aligned with Scripture, my feelings still screamed gay! 

I was discipling other sexually broken men successfully; and they would ask me time and time again – will the feelings ever change.  I did not know from experience if they would but I believed the Word promised complete healing and restoration from the giant that might have hold of you.  I was right… Since February 15^th 2001 I have not had gay thought or feeling interrupt my life again.  God has been both merciful and gracious.  In His sovereign plan He has taken from me gay thought and feeling; while keeping the needed information and compassion intact to help other men with their journey out of a gay world and life.  I think God is able to do more than we ask or imagine.  Listen my friend, I have asked time and time again that God would remove the memories of details of sexual encounters and partners.  I never could have imagined how He would do that, but He has!  One of the things lost in the 05.05.05 accident is all the years (decades) of sexual exploitation and encounters.  God is able!  God is good!!  God is AWESOME!!!

I still know the surface facts, though they come and go, but the details of that life are gone.  It is a medical, more therapeutic fact, resulting from my head injury, that at age 39 I grew up all over again.  I progressed not in years but in seasons of years – more like leaps and bounds.  But this time I grew up ‘straight’, without all the gay thoughts and feelings; and all the truths of Scripture and principles of purity my Daddy taught me flooded in.  What an amazing God we loving serve! 

In 2006 God privileged me to journey with three men out of the gay life; in 2007 the Lord honored me with four men who discovered the POWERFUL LIFE of PURITY!  And in 2008, I was blessed to walk with 14 pastors out of the gay life; and for 13 of those men God restored their marriages and ministries.  Hallelujah!!!

I no longer mentor 300 men at the same time via the internet; or walk with groups in conference and workshops from Miami to Anchorage; but God still uses me in little ways where He makes a big difference in the lives of His children.  All that I can do is to give Him praise!!!

If you asked me 15 years ago about becoming a pastor, discipleship counselor, or any type of minister I would have laughed hilariously at such a ridiculous thought.  If you asked me in 2001, I would have laughed and cried at the impossible.  If you would have told me last year that I could not be in ministry today – after almost a decade of various ministry experience and miracles coming to, what seemed a screeching halt – again I would laugh, because my great big God can do the impossible and He is!!!   I love my Jesus.  He is so good… He is so real… and He is my Life!!! 

Would you like to exchange your life for His Life?                      

Ron Browning

NewHeart Expressions Inc., NHE7

Romans 5:10 (ESV)

For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son,

much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life.